BY MIHIR SRIVASTAVA
SHE entered the room and no one could ignore HER. This is nearly ten years after HER mortal demise.
The elder of her two sons is getting engaged. The extended family is present in a big hall that is decorated and lit up for the occasion.
SHE left for medical reasons that were treatable, at most inopportune time, therefore, an unmitigated tragedy. And with HER left a void, that changed the lives of HER husband and two sons. And HER absence, which became a constant presence, was acutely felt, something they learned to live with, and has had a profound impact on them, everything they do or don’t. And has reinforced their respective predominant nature. They are, therefore, fairly different–lovely people for varied reasons and in their own quintessential ways.
Much water has flowed under the bridge since. HER husband stood the test of time resolutely, alone, stoic in the eye of the storm. HER absence became a companion. The boys are now successful men, and aspire for a good life.
Nestlings are now ready to leave the nest.
The nest: for all these years, the grandparents lived with their father, while the latter gave his sons and parents what he needed the most: comfort and support. A part of him remained with HER.
It was not easy for anyone. The more they missed HER, the more they cared for each other. Things settled in a very unsettling way. A difficult balance. Time passed, in retrospect, faster than they thought.
The grandparents did their best and embodied HER absence with their presence. They knew it’s an unfillable void. But they kept fighting a lost battle undauntedly. For they never doubt their ability to take care of the family, even now when they need to be cared for like a newborn.
Perhaps, HER lingering presence has given them the strength to try to accomplish the improbable, fill the void. They are satisfied that they tried.
Today is different. They are here for a reason and that reason is to be here. The grandparents are witnessing a spectacle that has given a sheen to their long life. The grandmother is trying to do things her way, in the way she thinks it is done, synchronising hundreds of intricate details into a smooth unfolding of events. That requires a sturdy hand, and not just a resolute mind.
But now the change is on the cards. A potent joyous feminine energy is knocking on the door, that may give respite from this unsettling arrangement, where each one of them is in a personal cocoon, but supporting and comforting to each other, nevertheless, each step of the way, the heavy-footed steps.
Diamond rings were about to be exchanged to affirm togetherness. A new generation, a new partnership, a new beginning with a promise to heal the old wounds. There is music, fanfare, and dancing.
The two brothers hugged, and when they parted, tears welled in their eyes.
SHE walked into the hall, in the hearts of people who knew her, felt her.
All of a sudden, SHE was the most present person.
The brothers cried spontaneously, others joined. That unstable balance is broken and the floodgates open. Things come to a halt in the deluge of unabated emotions. They weren't crying per se, at the second thought, it is a mere recognition of the fact time is not a healer, after all. A heartbreak becomes a habit. They welcomed HER. And celebrated HER presence in their life, tearfully.
Like a hostess, SHE interacted with each one of them present who knew HER. They were mindful of HER convivial self; their association with HER is vividly relived. HER overarching presence felt like an embrace. Tears blurred the vision.
The brothers meanwhile regain the unstable equilibrium back to go through the ceremonies, party, food, booze.
Death can’t snatch a dear one. They are fastened to the presence of HER absence. SHE lives on.
ME THE WITNESS:
People affect you, in a certain measure, without you knowing it. And you are face to face with your own worst fears and the lingering embodiment of love, as well, at the same time.
I had an impulse to comfort the brothers. Approach them and stand by their side. But it was such a personal moment in the public gaze. They were a shade conscious too, such moments usually come to them in solitude. Not today.
I stood still with a sort of turmoil inside.
Grief binds people and helps forge new relationships. In our vulnerability, we find the core strength.
It’s also reassuring that one never loses a loved one, death metamorphoses their absence into a potent presence. They remain part of the living in more ways than one can fathom. They leave a void in their image, and that void is enough to keep one going.
SHE smiled. A Duchenne smile.
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