Roop Karnail Singh is a free soul that seeks no social sanctions and is unrepentantly herself in this demonstrative world. Authentic and brave, she is quick to retort without filters, speaks her mind unperturbed, people, that includes her family and friends, sometimes struggle to deal with her forthrightness. She is, nevertheless, very adorable in her own quintessential way.
A good company, she has a high jinks sense of humour that is infectious, she betrays a smile when certain human conditions appear farcical to her. If you stay with her longer, the most potent aspect of her being comes to the fore, she is a fearless fighter to whatever life may have to offer. She has been this way all her life and life has challenged her in ways that will break a lessor mortal.
At 78, Roop lives in a four-bedroom house that’s very well kept. Her house houses the greatest number of objects I have witnessed in a place that’s not a museum (and it is a compliment), be it the artifacts, paintings, furniture, crockery and so on. These objects seem to complement each other in a way that feels classy and royal. She is proud of her lineage, her ancestors of different generations hailed from the royal families of Patiala, Faridkot, and her great great grandfather was a top general in Ranjit Singh’s army and was a close friend as well.
She was married to Karnail Singh, a self-made man who came from a humble family in Punjab. Karry, as she called him, was an astute IAS officer who held senior positions in the government and introduced her to the world at large, the state of Uttar Pradesh. She was not new to power and politics, but thanks to Kerry she witnessed it from close quarters. And assimilated and thrived in the new settings and, finally, internalised it and, in the process, grew rich culturally.
Roop abhors intermediaries, the goddam godmen and the gurus, or mentoring to help make sense of life. ‘Shrinks are for the weak,’ she says, categorically. It is a psychological arrangement for the feeble hearted who need an overdose of delusion, cannot take life as it is.
They were very different, in every sense of the word, but Kerry remains ‘the man of my life’ as she puts it. Roop lost Kerry last year after more than 50 years of marriage. Life has not been ease, punctuated by devastating losses, lost her father when she was young. She is a mother of two. Her son died a young man, and daughter, Petal—a bureaucrat like her father—is her support system.
Roop is carefree and freedom oriented, is not something that she seeks but also provides. She can get critical of things for she doesn’t celebrate mediocrity. Petal tells me that she is a liberal mother who encouraged her children to aim for the best, and try to get it, in the process, failing is not regretful, not trying is. Her children did well.
She is an artist, painter in particular. Likes watching OTT, and is interested in period pieces. She loves dogs that are not big enough to become unwieldy. Roop dresses like a royalty, chiffon or crepes salwar kameez sit elegantly on her. She loves good food, eats when hungry, that could be in the middle of the night, and doesn’t follow much of a routine. The idea is to be happy, and she has always been happy, what may come. As they say, happiness is the highest form of health.
I visited her at her residence, it took me a while to soak in the surroundings, was led to the drawing room where she was seated on a sofa. She made me comfortable (I got a bit uncomfortable, though) by her insisting not to remove my shoes while stepping on her light-coloured carpet—spotlessly clean.
She houses so many artistic objects, and continues to love them like never before is something that sets her apart from the rest of her age, is what fascinates me most about her, almost as much as her forthrightness. possessions, objects become a burden on the soul, rather a burden of the past, and with fading energy, older people seek to declutter, travel light in the life as they say, by shunning attachments, tone down the material aspect of life. To the contrary, these innate objects seem to give Roop company, for they have been mute companions to her for decades, and each of them has a memory associated with it, and she seems to relive a life well spent, albeit challenging, by way of these objects.
They are her trusted friends, listen to her, and be with her, and sort of empathize with her without getting judgemental, these objects seem to be a reason to celebrate and keep her hooked on to life. The energy of the house is positive. One of the reasons for it is happy healthy plants. 'How come plants are so healthy?' I ask. She explains that plants communicate to her and she gets to know intuitively what they need and is promptly provided for.
Roop’s courage is a matter of admiration. A proud woman who takes pride in being master of her destiny, gives her enormous strength. She is demanding and life finds ways to give her what she demands. She may seem sardonic to others but she says what she feels and she feels she is enough for her, and is strong enough to deal with whatever life may have to offer.
Therefore, she abhors intermediaries, the goddam godmen and the gurus, or mentoring to help make sense of life. ‘Shrinks are for the weak,’ she says, categorically. It is a psychological arrangement for the feeble hearted who need an overdose of delusion, cannot take life as it is.
She has a unique relationship with God, that of equals, perhaps friends, and like any mortal relationship, there are good and bad moments, and she lets it be known very emphatically. She reserves the right to be angry with God, as it happened for months after she lost her young son. She lives her way, and is less tolerant if things go awry; is reflected in the way she has organised her house—gives her a sense of control.
Her 16 years old granddaughter, Parmeshwarya, did a part of her schooling in the US, is often having heated debates about how a woman should be in this day and age. They, obviously, are not on the same page. They want each other to look at their side of the picture. Generation gap is hard to bridge. They hold their forte, but there’s definitely a synergy between the two.
Roop has strong views that may not seem polite to the so-called liberal world, who have coined a word for every misdemeanour may construe her diatribe as offensive, racist, sexist, radical, body shaming and what not! People when they express their feelings are acutely conscious of these tags, not she. Roop is wired this way, it’s not a sham, may be a reaction but has kept her in good stead.
She is not amenable to political correctness, and unapologetically so. In any case, political correctness is an overrated virtue, the fact that it is a virtue is debatable as well. As has been pointed out by George Carlin in his famous book When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops, “Political correctness is.,,.newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. I'm not sure that's the way to fight discrimination. I'm not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech.”
They don’t make a woman of her kind these days.
High Jinks humour indeed! I became a fan of Aunty in the first meeting (as I remember, though she says we met earlier too) when she said that in India you can always shout (ahem) at the cop for getting a challan and US you will get shot!