By Aranya Bhagat
My relationship with God is not bound by religion. He is the guiding light of my life.
God makes His presence felt in my subconscious and interacts with me.
To seek God we don't have to look for Him in temples, churches, and other places of worship and faith. Instead, I find him when I look within. I’m the temple of my God.
Religion is a matter of belief, and I believe religion is an institutional arrangement followed by most of humanity in some way or the other. Mostly, to appease Him to gain wealth and influence, while doing so, also trying to connect with their spiritual side.
Religion mostly prescribes a certain way of life. And any deviation from it invites God’s wrath. More often than not, it provokes a conflict between competing belief systems. God is often blamed for communal clashes. And the beneficiaries of such communal clashes are the so-called ‘Godmen’ who claim to be a bridge between mortals and the divine. They exploit religious sentiments to expand their empire.
What I don’t like about religion is that it conditions my relationship with God. My idea of God doesn’t conform to religious interpretations. And I seek a friend in God and not a medium to deal with my insecurities. Like with a friend, I can be in love, respect, adulation or anger with God depending on my current set of circumstances.
Though God is personal, He remains paradoxical. I often wonder if God created the universe then who created God? It’s a chicken and egg situation. Though, on second thought, this may not be paradoxical at all, rather this may have a pretty simple explanation. I believe that there is no starting or ending point as such, the creation of everything is a continuum, it just changes form and exists perpetually.
My way of meeting God is that I close my eyes, press my palms together and I visualise a white ray of light that acquires the shape of an irregular sun. He’s my buddy when I’m feeling out of sorts.
I often question God about how to lead a fulfilling life. All I get is this sense: be mindful of day-to-day happenings like water flowing down your body while bathing or for that matter feel the texture of food while chewing it, or feel the ground while walking. Don’t put your life on autopilot.
And we often argue about what happens when we die. I know death is the greatest mystery of life. The brightest minds of the world, past and present, have not been able to solve the riddle. Yet I will venture to describe what happens, perhaps it’s God’s inspiration that makes me feel this way: death is a black void. In this void, we are deprived of all our senses and memories. In this process, we become one with the void. This is the most peaceful way of non-existence.
What is this pure bliss situation and am I going to experience it?—-please tell me, God! And I get this answer: do not let the weight of worldly pressures bog you down and live your life without fear and the pressure of what people think of you. Don’t judge and be affected if others sit in judgement about you.
And I have a lot to thank God for: I have a loving family, and for putting food on the table and giving me love, support and encouragement. Also, for giving me the mental space to ponder about His existence and the way I experience Him.
And the most beautiful of all qualities that God has blessed me with is this innate sense of curiosity. That fuels my quest to gain knowledge and understanding, sometimes by way of experiencing things. To me, curiosity is like a torch, it illuminates the direction you point it to, and that becomes the focus of inquiry. Though all directions may seem different, one thing is common–you get to learn, understand and experience new things that enrich your stay on the planet.
I would also thank Him for blessing me with an expressive pair of eyes. My friends accuse my otherwise fairly innocent eyes of having a mesmerising quality to them that may even entice people to fall off a cliff. But to me they perform a very vital function, to convey what I want nonverbally. I don’t mean blinking or morse code. But everything else you can think of.
Indeed, my eyes are the window to my soul. When I stare at myself in the mirror for long, my eyes become prominent while other parts of my body seem to distort as my figure seems to melt. I see my ethereal self rather than a physical body. And I forget myself in those moments, my mind is blank, and before you know it, you’re back again in this existence. I think I was closer to my God in those moments.
Eyes, to me, are also the most incredible of our five senses. I fear without eyes the world would seem like a black hole, perhaps life would feel like death in this overwhelming darkness.
If I could ask God to change something in Himself, I would ask Him to avoid natural disasters that inflict senseless suffering that is beyond the control of humans and are so pointless!!
I really appreciate your presence in my life and I’m sure you appreciate mine in yours. We keep each other alive.
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