All people are unique in their own right. Pupps Roy is visibly so.
I have known him for many years and admire the fact that he’s unabashedly himself. And those who know him cherish him. This flamboyance has come after years of understanding of self, overcoming social conditionalities that involved pain, struggle and stigma. It’s never easy and demands courageous decisions that only someone with Pupps inherent strength could have dared take.
I was meeting Pupps after a long time in a cafe that’s located next door to his gym in the late afternoon last week. We ordered coffee and cookies and sat down to talk. He showed me a piece he wrote in support of same-sex marriage that’s being hotly debated in the Apex court. And one gets a feeling that India–accounts for one-fifth of humanity–is on the cusp of a historic social change that the judiciary will bring about.
We first decided on the pronoun to use for Pupps, it’s gonna be s/he. And before we come to this conclusion, he says with an element of disdain, “flying f**k to the whole world.” And, then, as an afterthought, “don’t forget to put the asterisks.”
His/her day job is with a US-based infotech company that he doesn’t want to talk much about, other than he has little time as he is expecting a business call in less than an hour.
Lately, he has been travelling to the US frequently, at least one time a year, and stays with friends or hires a comfortable pad to coinhabit with friends. The larger the group tconfirmedhe bigger accommodation. “If there are many, we collectively rent a villa,” he says.
And life is cool! New York is his current favourite foreign city. Here no one stresses him or is stressed about him to ask personal probing questions. “Call me by your name and I will call you by yours,” he says.
I don't exactly remember why we started talking about his love life. But he confirmed that it's prolific as ever. He’s active on dating sites and clarifies “There’s no catfishing on social dating apps.,”
It’s fodder for thought, technology has facilitated catfishing, and people are so scared to own up to their own desires and, therefore, have to masquerade as someone else to play their intimate cravings out.
It was nice to know that s/he's more circumspect about his potential partner, age has given him certain discretion. He regularly gets his share of ‘love making’ as he puts it, and then goes on to distinguish between ‘love’ and ‘love making’ and adds “I don’t mix love and sex together.” And when I probe him a bit more to describe the distinction between the two, he says, “I don’t carnal anymore. I have done everything—but then you’re never done with happiness and euphoria.” And s/he toys the idea a bit more to say, “I don’t relate to it anymore (carnality) but might go back,” and after a pause, “I’m levelled up.”
S/he used to go out a lot, but now regularising life a bit. Party the first week, drive out of the city in the second, and so on. And s/he dresses Pupps Roy whether s/he’s in New Delhi or New York. “I remain the same person,” he asserts. There's no place safer than the other for her/him. “You can be in the wrong place at the wrong time anywhere in the world,” he explains.
Though s/he’s a globe trotter and a sensational figure amongst the party crowd of expats in Delhi, s/he's categorical, “I never fancy living abroad. Deep down I’m too desi. I feel homesick.” At the most three to four months s/he can stay away from Delhi, “even if it’s a paradise, I will come back to India.”
Nevertheless, s/he remains a big hit with the expats without any racial or ethnic bias–his friends could be Caucasians, Orientals or Africans–simply because they don’t judge or perhaps understand the need to express themselves beyond the confines of social norms.
“Party is a state of mind,” to her/him, and it really doesn't matter if you’re with friends, strangers or even alone. And no plan is sacrosanct, things change in a moment. Like life, a night pans out in the most unpredictable ways.
Five years ago I wrote a piece on him titled The Party Queen (https://thepatriot.in/lifestyle/the-party-queen-1259). S/he's evolved and yet remains unmistakenly Pupps Roy.
Pupps is intuitive in dealing with the world. In all these years, s/he’s remained quintessentially Pupps Roy–and that’s a fairly dynamic process. S/he is currently focusing on good health and is a regular at the gym. “Balance is important,” s/he says.
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