By Mihir Srivastava
Time has slipped and slid around Deepa Gopinath. This obvious fact is reinforced every time I meet her. An incredible mother and daughter to incredible women, her way of showing affection is to allow people close to her to lead their life unfettered.
She employs the same approach towards her only child Shreyasi, who’s an accomplished Bharatnatyam dancer and teacher in her own right and a globetrotter. Deepa has been her manager for life and has played a key role in shaping her dance career not just as a mother.
Deepa is a single mother with no regrets. Her past is never a matter of conversation, nor would you find her cribbing and complaining about it. She has a bunch of great friends because she is a wonderful friend. Giver and not a seeker, she’s done well.
And her pristine mind space is reflected by how she has organised her home, an aesthetic minimalist, vacant spaces, clutter-free and user-friendly. She has no craving to hoard things and useless acquisitions is a burden that only saps energy. Things haven’t changed much in the past many years but for Shreyasi growing into a beautiful woman. Which is not much of a surprise: Like mother, like daughter.
A native of Kerala, she grew up as a Delhi girl. Deepa always drove an SUV negotiating the city with aplomb. Don’t get me wrong, she is one the most responsible drivers. A party animal, she knows how to enjoy herself. She can let her hair down and dazzle a gathering and with equal facility find a corner to stand silently soaking people, experiencing solitude in the crowd. The key to enjoying an evening is to become a radiant source of joy.
Over the years, the party animal in her is slightly tamed and is tempered by a sense of responsibility, not just towards her, but also toward her party mates. And when she decides something, there’s no going back on it. Responsibility and fun can be bedfellows. Deepa is an artist that makes it possible.
Lately, there was a long phase when she was out of a regular job, something that happened after three long decades. That was necessary to break from a routine and sort of explore and give oneself time to stocktake.
Gyming is quality time with herself every morning and she attends to it with religious fervour. In the meantime, she explored new horizons, consulted for some corporations and invested time and energy in acquiring new skills, managed her daughter's dance school, and modelled. And, also found time to travel and took pleasure in spending her savings.
She was one of three grand saree-clad women for the Taneira. She was everywhere, in full-page adverts in the leading dailies, then big hoardings at crossing and malls, it has become virtually impossible to avoid her smiling down the poster. In my exasperation, I texted her from Bangalore, “There’s no escaping you.”
She enjoyed the break and it was time to take up another regular job, though she didn’t want to join another publication. She was done with it. Now she sells one of the most expensive watches in the world. And time has been static as far as she’s concerned. Poetic!
Her daughter is a young woman, and she wants her to experience the world firsthand without the overarching shadow of a protective mother. And she knows how to keep the balance despite changing needs, the child becoming an adult and parents gravitating towards their second childhood.
Life is uncertain, and she’s one of the very few people who thrive on uncertainty. I’m sure, there have been phases when things were tough, and going difficult but she never showed it. A caring woman with a smiling face who speaks her heart without pretensions.
I have learned from her not being paranoid about looking a certain way is a good way to look charming. The best makeup is the bindaas attitude towards life. As Ron White famously said, “I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”
We agreed to meet again very soon in a party setting.
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